Heritage Presbyterian Church, Alexandria, Virginia
Memorial Service, Violet Lois Malesh, January 19, 2002
Chaplain Arnie Porter

Celebrating the Life of
Violet Lois Malesh,
(Mother of Christine Lieberman)
October 5, 1919 - January 12, 2002

Invocation

Oh God of grace and glory, we remember before you this day our sister, Violet Malesh. We thank you for giving her to us, that we have been a part of her family or among her friends, that she has been to us a beloved companion on our earthly pilgrimage. Amen.

Opening sentence

As a father has compassion for his children, So the Lord has compassion for those who fear God. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you, says the lord. The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

Prayer

Eternal God, We acknowledge the uncertainty of our life on earth. We are given a mere handful of days, and our span of life seems nothing in your sight. All flesh is as grass: and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers the flower fades, but your word will stand forever; in this is our hope, for you are our God. Even in the valley of the shadow of death, you are with us. Oh Lord, let us know our end, and the number of our days, that we may learn how fleeting life is. Turn your ear to our cry, and hear our prayers. Do not be silent at our tears, for we live as strangers before you, wandering pilgrims as all our ancestors were. But you are the same, and your years shall have no end. Amen

Musical Selection

"God of the Sparrow" - Soloist Barbara Gilliam

Old Testament Reading Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness, for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

New Testament Reading Romans 8:33-39

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Jesus Christ, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God, and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship, or persecution or famine, or nakedness or danger, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Comments by family or friends

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

This was true of Violet. She always had a smile for everyone, and she laughed much and she loved everyone. She used to come to the Tennis Club to watch Chris and the girls play tennis. (yes, granny still plays tennis). We liked looking up through the window and see her smiling face watching us. When she wasn't watching, she was talking to the little children who were on their way to the nursery. She would ask them their names and wanted to know all about them. They loved her and she loved them.

As she slipped into the world of strangers, she stopped coming and we missed her sweet smile. We found a little humor in this world when she would say, "That man is here again;" speaking of Bob her son-in-law. Even in this world of strangers, she laughed and smiled and let you believe that you were her best friend. The deeper that she moved into the world of strangers, there were two names that she took with her: Chris, her daughter whom she knew and spoke her name right up to the end. The second name was Jesus. She called upon him when she was in any stressful situation. She knew where her help came from. She is with Jesus now.

I thought of Violet as I was reading Psalm 91 this morning. "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the almighty." That was where Violet dwelled. She truly loved the Lord.

In Psalm 91:14, the Lord speaks, "He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble: I will deliver him, and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation." We know where Violet is today.

Jan & Roy Beveridge, Annandale, VA

Meditation

The mother of a friend of mine died just before Christmas a year ago. Just before this Christmas she wrote about it. (By Nancy Jo Batman):

"Last year was the first Christmas without my mother. No angels sang. No Lords leaped. No drummer boy drummed. No star shone in the east. No rough breast slouched toward Bethlehem waiting to be born. If there was any angling to get me under the mistletoe I missed it. In other words it was not a holly-jolly Christmas. I spent time trying not to cry when I heard Silent Night.

Christmas is one of the best times of the year when everybody is alive, but one of the worst times when they are not. We have to read articles in the paper about how to reduce stress. We read how to make gifts instead of doing the mall crawl. (Most of those home made presents involve yeast and all mine expired in 1965.)

And in between How-To columns we are reminded to be on alert for possible terrorist activity. I am not alert, In fact I have quit reading any news at all. I'm just pretending the rest of the world feels as peaceful as I do. My hair dresser remarked, "The world is going to hell in a handbasket." I said, "I'm not" and then I explained that just because everything looks crazy and out of control--that you can still control yourself.

So I'm playing lots of old Christmas carols this year, and they haven't made me sick yet. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. I know, I know, it's still two weeks before Christmas and I still have time to go crazy or to hell in a handbasket, but I don't think I will this year.

What makes a statement trite is its truthfulness. When you tell people that time will heal their hearts, it is a truth. It is true that after the darkness, there is light; that after the weeping there is laughter; and after the pain there is a Messiah." Amen

Henry Van Dyke wrote:
"I'm standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says: "There she is gone!" "Gone where?" Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!" And that is dying."

Prayer for those who mourn and Our Lord's Prayer

Almighty God, source of all mercy and giver of comfort; deal graciously with those who mourn, that casting all their sorrow on you, they may know the consolation of your love. We thank you that for Violet, death is past and pain ended. Grant us grace to entrust her to thy never failing love; receive her into the arms of thy mercy, and remember her according to the favor which thou bearest unto thy people.

Let us say together:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Commendation

Into your hands, O merciful savior, we commend your servant, Violet Acknowledge, we humbly pray, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light.

Oh Lord, support us all the day long until the shadows lengthen, and the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then, in your mercy, grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Benediction

Now Lord, you let your servants go in peace, your word has been fulfilled. May the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds, in the knowledge and the love of God, and of God's Son, Jesus Christ our Lord; and may the blessing of God Almighty, The Father, the Son , and the Holy Spirit, remain with you always. Amen

Participating in the service:

Chaplain E. Arnold Porter (USAF Ret.)
Jan Beveridge, Friend of the Family
Barbara Gilliam, Soloist, Heritage Presbyterian Santuary Choir
Mary Lyons, Pianist

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