Memorial Service, Pastor Bob Curry
Heritage Presbyterian Church
June 17, 2000

Memorial Service Celebrating The Life Of
David Lee Hubbell
4 Sep 1967 - 6 Jun 2000

IT'S HARD TO LOSE A SON

Marlese is quick to inform you that she is 1/4 Chickasaw American Indian. Of course this makes David and his sisters and brother 1/8 and those two soon to be three grandchildren 1/16 Chickasaw American Indian. As Marlese is proud of that Heritage so also must her children bear the same pride and teach it their little ones. Who we have been, where we come from has so much to do with who we are and will become - so we are told.

Hear a prayer from this culture that even here on the land of our worship house they once moved and lived and had their being.

Earth teach me stillness
   as the grasses are stilled with light.
Earth teach me suffering
   as old stones suffer with memory.
Earth teach me humility
   as blossoms are humble from beginning.
Earth teach me caring
   as the mother who secures her young.
Earth teach me courage
   as the tree that stands all alone.
Earth teach me limitation
   as the ant which crawls on the ground.
Earth teach me freedom
   as the eagle which soars in the sky.
Earth teach me resignation
   as the leaves which die in the fall.
Earth teach me regeneration
   as the seed which rises in the spring.
Earth teach me to forget myself
   as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth teach me to remember kindness
   as dry fields weep with rain.
      Amen (Ute Prayer from Earth Prayers, p. 176)

The story of three sons:

First there is the happy ending story of Abraham and Isaac.

Then there is the tragic story of David and Absolam.

And finally there is the mystery of God and Jesus.

The Abraham-Isaac saga is so familiar to us all. Abraham waits for years for son he and Sara finally are given a son, only to be told the son must be sacrificed to a demanding God. Abraham proceeds to comply with God's will and it is not until the child is on the sacrificial altar that Yahweh provides. Isaac, as a curious child, keeps asking his father where the ram is, and his father, in typical father fashion offers and evasive reply "Yahweh will provide." And Yahweh does provide, and Abraham - the patriarch of faith is confirmed and son Isaac lives happily ever after -well sort of.

In our own lives - there are stories that have happy endings - where are sons and daughters have brought only pride and joy to our lives. Well, not all the time, but weighing - on the balance - yes, we can affirm that our sons and daughters brought us much joy in our lives.

Sometimes it is a reach but a grandmother and grandfather need only to look at Jack and Grace and see in their bright eyes - the child David, or son John or daughters Judy and Anna.

And remember the joys their son David brought to their lives.

"Oh, my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would that I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!"

This has been the cry of so many parents when the profound unfairness of the death of child to whom they have given life has that life taken prior to their own death That the child is an adult child, as with David Hubbell, does not lessen the pain or mitigate the profound feeling of unfairness.

Before we build too much into David and Absalom - their relationship was anything but the love that pours out of King David's mouth when the news Absalom's death in battle ordered by David is brought to him. Absolam had plotted for years and had wrested the kingship from David. Absalom had his brother murdered, plotted his father's dethroning and was, even at the time of his death, attempting to kill David.

David's family was one of the more dysfunctional families in the Bible.

Yet with all the problems and enmity and strife which Absalom and David caused each other the cry of David at the death of Absalom rings with the veracity of a profoundly grieving parent out of a deep love that goes beyond all pain and hurt the child Absalom may well have caused.

And what parent weeping at the death of a child has not made King David's cry their own no matter the difficult and painful path of parent-child relationship.

Then there is mystery of the relationship of God and Jesus.

The emphasis is on "mystery".

We are a mystery-solving society. We want explanations that are rational, intelligible and explain the inexplicable.

But suppose, suppose, just for the moment, that the "mystery" is the reality.

Walt - Marlese - the New Testament lectionary reading for Sunday, June 18 - ends with this verse "And God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him, should not perish, but live forever."

There it is - the mystery and the miracle. The incomprehensible, and yet the greatest comfort. For you two have lost a son - and John, Judy and Anna a brother.

The loss that will not soon go away, the sadness that will always dwell in the recesses of your heart and the heartache may ease but will not be forgotten - our God who loves us, cares for us, and knows our inner most thoughts - "has been there, done that, and has the T-shirt.

If our God has given out of love, that same God has not taken out of hate, but will continue to love and support you always.

Thanks be for the mystery that surrounds life enshrouds death, but never fails to enfold us with eternal love. Amen.

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